Sarah's Tent

From the Editor....

Shalom!

Welcome to the Summer 2007 issue of Sarah's Tent. I hope that you all had a blessed Passover. If you are  following the Feasts of YHWH, then you have been counting the omer, which in few days will culminate in the  celebration of Shavuot, also known as Pentecost.  We are going to focus on this important Feast day in this issue, but first I have some very exciting news. YHWH has been blessing us tremendously and directing the path of Sarah's Tent. We have two new staff members who will be writing their own columns on Sarah's Tent. Rebecca at the Well will be written by Rebecca Totilo, author of His Majesty Requests, and Under the Chuppah will be written by Laurie West.

I pray that these two new additions to Sarah's Tent will bless and support you in your walk with the Messiah.

Hadassa, Editor

In my journey of desiring to obey my Father’s Instructions and coping with my unbelieving husband, I found that this is a sorely neglected area of instruction.  I have sought out counsel from many Torah teachers and Pastors over the years, and while they have tried to be of help and comfort, they did not understand the dynamics of my circumstance.  It was only until I sought out the counsel of the Scriptures, from King Solomon in particular, that I had at long last begun to receive answers to my questions.   I hope what has encouraged me will encourage you, because as I see it, we are very courageous women with a tough calling.
 

Not all husbands contend with their wives in regard to Torah Observance.  If your husband is a Christian and is happy with his Christian way of life and does not impede your walk, or you have an unbelieving husband who is happy to let you practice what you believe, then you are blessed.
 

For those women who have spouses that absolutely kick up a fuss, then your walk will be difficult, but not impossible.  My husband was like this, (keyword: “was”), and it was through many horrifying trials and tribulations that I had at times to grow a spine, and then back down and be quiet at other times, AND have the wisdom to understand the difference between the two!  In the process of learning how to cope with my husband, I received little support from my believing friends.  People just do not know what to do with us.  We have been so conditioned in Christianity to believe certain things about ourselves as women and the roles we fill, that to go against the grain of popular practice is met with raised eyebrows.  I thought that just as we have misunderstood so much of the Scriptures, surely, this was also an area that we have misunderstood.
 

One of the best study aids that I have found is the Ancient Hebrew Lexicon by Jeff Benner.  With this tool, I was able to get to the “mountain top” meaning of words, as has been coined by Brad Scott.  When studying passages in the Brit Chadasha, I simply went back to the Tanakh and allowed the Tanakh to define the terms in the Brit Chadasha.  I cannot tell you, how shocking and awesome it was to discover what the writers of the Brit Chadasha were really telling us.  We’ll dig in to a few verses in the Brit Chadasha, but the main focus of this column will be in the Song of Solomon. 

One of the first verses given to me as a struggling wife was 1 Corinthians 7:13-16:

“…and a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.  But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  But Elohim has called us to peace.  For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?  Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

and also, 1 Peter 3:1-2,  “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”

As I went back to the Tanakh, and found my definitions for the above underlined words, I discovered a very different understanding than what I had been taught in Church, and even by some well meaning Messianic Teachers. 

Let’s look at these definitions:

From 1 Corinthians 7:13-16:

Believe- Strongs (571) to support or confirm, be faithful (of what?  The Word of YHVH)
 Ancient Hebrew Lexicon (1290 C (V)) says, “something that grabs hold or supports something else.  The  
  Passing of strength or skill to the next generation, to stand firm as a support”
Sanctified- Strongs (37) to make holy, to be separated from profane things and dedicated to YHVH, to cleanse    
     externally and purify internally.
 AHL (2700 v )  Set Apart from the rest for a special function or purpose
Unclean- Strongs (169) not cleansed, unclean in a ceremonial sense; that which must be abstained from according
  to Levitical Law
From (2931) to be unclean sexually, religiously, ceremonially, to defile ones’ self sexually or by idolatry; to  
  profane YHVH’s name; to be polluted.
 AHL (1197 E(N) Unclean – Container of water used to wash dirt off

Holy (same as sanctified above)

Under Bondage – Strongs (1402) to enslave, to cause to serve as subjects (Compared with Tanakh, Exodus 2:23)
 AHL – 2518 (cl) serve, servant, service, labour, ministering.  A work performed or made for another out of
  Obligation. 
Saved – Strongs (4982) to deliver or protect.  To keep safe and sound.  To rescue from danger or destruction. 
    Compare with Genesis 12:12 “save” Strongs (2421) – To live, have life, sustain life, remain alive, live
   Prosperously, be restored to life or health. 
 AHL – (1171 – H(v)  – Stomach/Life – When the stomach is empty one is famished and weak, and when it
  It is filled it is revived.  This organ is seen as life as an empty stomach is like death, but a revived Stomach is life.
 

With the Scriptural definitions behind these words, if you read 1 Corinthians 7:13-16 again, you will see that the wife of a man who does not obey the Commandments is not to divorce him.  By the wife obeying the Commandments of YHVH in the home; those intimate instructions pertaining to her body and life, meeting YHVH at His Appointed Times, and those which she is to pass on to her children bring about a home that is set apart.  Interestingly, the AHL definition for mother is that she is the “glue” that holds the family together.  It is by her example and steadfastness to be faithful to YHVH that will bring about holiness in the home.  In contrast, the verses say, “otherwise her children would be unclean”.  The wife and mother set the standard in the home, even in homes where the husband is antagonistic.  Something else that I realized recently is that in all of this, it is YHVH who plants His Seed in our loved ones, and not us.  We have been taught that it is us who is to “plant or sow seeds”, but this is not our work.  We are simply to be obedient and allow YHVH to accomplish His work in our family.  The results are His.  So many of us feel as if we have failed because our family may not follow us in the time they are in our care.  We are in a difficult dilemma and not YHVH’s ideal. 

The definition of father, on the other hand, in the AHL is defined as “the support of the tent/house.  The father of the family provides the strength, support, and structure of the household.  The father fulfilled many functions for the family.  He was the commander of the family army, provider of offspring to continue the family line, the priest and teacher.”    While our unbelieving husbands may fulfil some of these qualities, it may be up to us to fill the gap where there is lack in order to teach our children.  It is in this arena that we will encounter conflict as well.  We will have to diligently seek after our Bridegroom in order to stand between the pillars of truth.  Mercy is on one side, and severity is on the other.  As we faithfully fulfil the Instructions of YHVH, our lives will cease to be our own.  And this is so painful!  In verse 15, our marriage commitment is spoken of in terms of “bondage”.  “Bondage is a work performed or made for another out of obligation”.  In YHVH’s mercy, He has given the unbelieving spouse freedom to leave the marriage, should he not be able to cope with his wife’s commitment to her faith.  We aren’t talking in terms of the husband being angry because his wife goes to church three times a week, or tithes, or attends too many Ladies’ Fellowship Teas.  It is speaking of the wife obeying the commandments of YHVH, with or without the approval of her husband.  We are called to stay in our marriages (I make a distinction here between conflict and abuse) so that our husbands may be saved.  Our own walk hedges in our husband’s behaviour.  There were times when I had to stand up to him, and even though it cost me peace in my home, the outcome now, is that I can truly say, my husband is a totally different man today.  He has been freed to be the man YHVH created him to be, even though he has not made the step of faith to take the commandments on for himself…yet. 

In my opinion, 1 Peter 3:1-2 confirms 1 Corinthians in the sense that Peter is advocating a quiet obedience to YHVH as she serves and ministers to her husband.  This is not to say we should not make stands, but this will depend upon whether our husbands are peaceable or malleable.  Saving his life may not necessarily mean “salvation” in the sense that we understood whilst in Christianity.  It means more of a restorative work, so that our husbands can live within a holy environment.  He will be clean in ways he may not realize, and observe our love and faith in YHVH – from which HE benefits, and thusly, we fulfil the function of priest.   Although he may also hold bitterness against YHVH because he is jealous of the relationship his wife has with an “invisible masculine entity”, in the end it will be this fervent jealousy that will reckon himself to a Holy Elohim.  Our behaviour and devotion to YHVH will act as that positive catalyst that begins to judge our husbands heart.  If we instead cower, our husbands may never be brought to the very throne of YHVH, thusly, we can “save” our husbands.  We win them without a word, yes, but our behaviour towards YHVH in FEAR is what speaks for us.
 

In speaking with many women who are trying desperately to obey YHVH, and hearing about horrible situations that these women are in, it is my prayer that you will understand that if need be, you certainly can stand up to your husband for the sake of obeying YHVH.  How you do this, and in what manner, will come through much prayer and study.   I have made many mistakes, but even in them, YHVH used them to humble me.   I can say with gladness now, that my husband has been YHVH’s buffeting tool in my life.  Even though I have made some frightening stands, I must say that it was only through the strength of YHVH.  To keep me from arrogance, my self-worth has been shattered so much that there were times I wanted to go Home to be with YHVH.  I learned to trust (cling) to YHVH.  I learned how sharp the two-edged sword from the mouth of Y’shua could be.  I learned that the cost of intimacy with my Bridegroom, my Beloved, was death to my self.  But, from the ashes where I have been burned, I could cry out like the Shulamite maiden to her Beloved, “Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth”, and understand what this would mean.
 

Which brings us to the Shulamite maiden.  Who is she?  No one knows for sure.  The interesting thing about the name Shulam, is that it is could be a Persian name for a city, or it could be that she was indeed Hebrew and her name is a derivative of "shalom" which means, "to be complete".  The Shulamite maiden, therefore, could either have been one of the many brides that Solomon took from other lands to bring to himself (Shulam”ite”), which would mean she is much like us in that she was "taken from afar and brought near". Or, she is simply a Hebrew maiden taken from the fields and not of any noble station.  In any event, the essence of her name means "to be complete".  The maiden was to go through a very intense internal cleansing and a time of being “set apart” from her companions in order to be "completed" and brought into the Bridal Chamber of her Bridegroom.  As we delve into the comfort and internal cleansing of our Beloved, being challenged and changed within our unequalled yokes, we will be made complete and WHOLE just as the Shulamite maiden. 

Laurie can be reached at  laurie@sarahstent.info